101 Ways to Perturb a Pupil
by CerenbusSnapeMalfoy
Summary: Sequel to 101 Ways to Annoy Severus Snape! It's the kid's forth year! Severus gets revenge! Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco fight back! Who is going to crack first?
1. Chapter 1

Severus Snape strode into his potions classroom for the first lesson of the first day back to school after a long summer break. The first thing he saw other than the lesson plan he had made up earlier on the chalkboard, was a suspiciously-wrapped item on his desk. It looked somewhat like a muggle birthday present.

Having had so much trouble with pranksters the year prior, he didn't dare go near it. "You four, front and center, now!" He snapped, and the aforementioned troubled youth sheepishly began trickling out from behind his desk.

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. Such vile children.

"What is this?" Snape demanded, flicking his wand towards the box.

"Erm… just a welcome back present, Uncle Sev'. We missed you!" Draco spoke for the group, then proceeded to give his godfather a hug. The other three, smirking conspicuously, joined him.

Snape, feeling rather smothered, demanded that they keep their distance. "Remove the box."

"Open it."

"Remove. It."

"Open. It."

_"__Remove."_

_"__Open."_

The four troublemakers valiantly endeavored to match their professor's scowl, but their life-experience was far too meager to be able to attempt such an expression. Four students ended up with four very strict sentences – detention with Snape every weekend for the next month. And no sweets. Severus couldn't stand the thought of such sour children devouring such fine sweets.

The rest of the class then joined them in the classroom, and Snape began his lesson. He turned to his desk, saw the neatly-wrapped gift and scowled at it. With a flick of his wand, it was sent into an empty cupboard on the other side of the room, and promptly forgotten.

Through the entire class, Snape kept sharp eyes on the four who promised trouble. Their ersatz facial expressions of innocence mocked him.

Severus sent all the children away at the end of the lesson, surprised and pleased that nothing happened. The children had behaved themselves. They must have something big planned.

Severus sighed and sat down to begin grading the first tests of the day, noting that none of the students were any dumber than the year prior, but then again, one couldn't lose braincells they never possessed in the first place.

After a while of sitting in silence, the previously forgotten gift made itself known in Snape's memory. He sighed, contemplating what to do about it. He surely wasn't stupid enough to actually open it. Perhaps he could leave it on Dumbledore's desk and watch what happens from behind a bomb shelter?

With a sigh at the fact that he could not go through with that ridiculously devious idea, he set down his quill and moved cautiously over to where it was hidden in the empty cupboard. As soon as he opened the cupboard, he was knocked off his feet by dozens of fluffy beasts. They were… puppies.

With a scowl that nearly broke a blood vessel, Snape pulled himself to his feet and inspected the package that the dogs had chewed their way out of. He stared around in horror as the pups ran around his classroom chaotically, knocking over chairs and jumping up on things, knocking jars of ingredients to the floor when they slammed into the shelves.

Snape drew out his wand, waving it above his head. Like a mini tornado, the pups were sucked up from where they were, and with a flick and a twirl, a disgruntled Severus sent the equally disgruntled puppies back into the package, and with another flick, it was gone.

Snape growled and tugged on the bottom of his shirt, stuffing his wand back up his sleeve. They thought they could get away with murder just because Dumbledore refused to expel them? Fine then. Severus could play dirty too.

**AN: EHEHEHE. So I'm open to any and all ideas for Severus to prank the students with! Remember what they did to him in 101 Ways to Annoy Severus Snape? Think of some awesome revenge pranks! Sevie will be so happy, he may even hug you for them. ^.^ Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

Expecting the day to go their way, the four teens woke up bright and early with evil grins on their faces. They had a quiet breakfast together, going over strategies and ignoring, as always, the looks they received from the clueless first years who didn't know why in the world a Slytherin would hang out with three Gryffindors. The shocked looks on their faces were priceless whenever Draco and Hermione kissed.

It was obvious when Hermione and Draco first started dating that Ron and Harry did not approve. However over the summer, Draco won over Harry by coming up with colorful ideas to prank the Dursley's with. Ron was a bit harder, however when Molly Weasley adopted Draco as her own, he finally, begrudgingly, gave them his blessing. Molly even knitted Draco a Weasley sweater which was promptly "misplaced". Much to his horror, she made him another, which he stuffed in the deepest, darkest corner of his closet.

"He wised up to our old tricks, we have to step up our game a notch. You guys ready for this?" Harry whispered as they all walked stride-for-stride up to the potions classroom.

"Ready!" The others replied in unison, having prepared for this moment all summer. The thing they didn't realize, however, was that Snape had been preparing for them all night. And unlike them, he only needed one night of preparation for a whole year of horrors.

Early, they got to choose their seats strategically. Unfortunately for them, Snape had predicted their strategy.

Snape burst into the classroom not a minute later than the other students filed in, instructing everyone to open to page two.

Hermione, Ron, Harry and Draco, like the rest of the class, opened their satchels and pulled out their books, opening the cover, then the first page, then the second… and… nothing. They glanced at each other, wondering if it was just them or if anyone else was having the same problem.

"Sir?" Hermione raised her hand. "My book is blank?"

"Um, so is mine." Draco furrowed his brow in confusion.

Harry and Ron shared a dumbstruck glance. "So are ours." Harry supplied.

Snape glanced at them disdainfully. "One point from each of you." He slammed his copy on a desk in the middle of the room, shooing the students who sat at it. "You four, sit here and share my text, since you're all so clumsy as to have purchased faulty materials."

Packing up their books, they all tried to stand and move to the middle of the room from where they sat, one in each corner, while the four evicted from the front waited impatiently for their new seats. Each found themselves in similar predicaments. The seat of Draco's robe was stuck to his bench. The soles of Hermione's shoes were stuck to the flour. The sleeves of Harry's robes were stuck to the table, and Ron was having the hardest time trying to pull his tie free where it had become stuck to his cauldron.

Several students giggled, obviously thinking the teens were purposely doing these things, however they were ready to panic.

Snape's eyes roamed from one panic-stricken face to the next, slowly tapping his wand in the palm of his hand, serving to only fuel their panic.

"I-I'm stuck, I can't-"

"Professor, help please?"

"My robe!

"I can't move!"

Snape rolled his eyes, moving over to Ron first. "Mister Weasley, detention." He drawled, flicking his wand and releasing the boy's tie from the cauldron. The boy rushed over to his new seat, brow sweating.

Snape moved over to Harry, tapping his wand on the boy's arms and freeing his sleeves. "Detention, Mister Potter." Harry ducked his head and hurried to sit beside Ron.

Snape moved to the other side of the room, swishing his wand at Hermione's feet and she nearly tripped from how fast she scurried to the front of the room after. "Detention, Miss Granger." Snape called after her, already moving to free Draco as well. "And detention for you as well, Mister Malfoy." He growled, watching as he hurried to sit beside his girlfriend.

"Now, if you're all done being juvenile delinquents, shall we proceed with today's lesson?" Snape moved back to his chalkboard, and began teaching.

Snape taught the class, telling the students to open to certain pages that he had boobytrapped in his book to blow colorful smoke into the four teen's faces. By the end of the class, Draco had splotches of green and red all over his face and hair, Hermione was a very dark shade of blue, Harry looked like a raccoon because his glasses had protected large circles around his eyes, and Ron's hair was suddenly a very, very light pink.

The four walked out of the class that day, thinking that Snape had used up all his good pranks in one day. Little did they know, however, that according to Snape… the real prank wars had yet to begin.

**AN: So, sorry it took so long to update. Let me know what you think, and please please please give me some prank ideas! Much appreciated! Love you guys, please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Ron, Hermione, Harry and Draco put their heads together that night. "He's putting up a fight this year. We need to not only retaliate, we need to sabotage his next pranks and make him look like a fool for them."

They all agreed on a few of their best prank ideas, then went off to sleep.

Little did they know, Snape had stuffed their pillows with rotten potions ingredients. The four of them had trouble sleeping, unable to find the source of the putrid smell, and spent the next day reeking of fish and vomit.

"Ugh, bloody hell. What have you been doing?" Dean Thomas cried at breakfast, then again at lunch, and yet again at dinner.

The four disgruntled teens scowled mightily at anyone who pinched their noses whenever they entered a room.

Draco and Hermione hadn't been able to kiss all day, as each time they tried, they would gag uncontrollably at each other's stench and it would ruin the moment.

Snape was very pleased with himself, watching the four trudge into his classroom at the end of the day, and practically beg him for something to get rid of the smell. "What have you four been up to, what indeed?" he asked, hardly able to hide his delight as he brewed up a potion to get the smell out of their hair. To his further delight, none of the teens seemed to have yet realized that he was responsible for the smell, otherwise he was sure none would have come to him for help.

"Someone's pranking _us_ this year." Draco grumbled mournfully.

"What's the matter, mister Malfoy, are you disliking the taste of your own medicine?" Snape drawled, taking globs of the potion into his hands and massaging it into Draco's pale hair while the Slytherin cringed at the slimy, cold feel. The other three cringed in the same way as Snape treated their hair as well.

Hermione was suddenly dawned with a horrible thought, and raised a hand to the solution in her hair, then sniffed it suspiciously. "What is this?" she asked, glad at least that it smelled pleasant.

"Violet pomade and tomato paste, to get rid of the smell." Snape replied easily. "And a combination of Hair-Raising potion and Manegro." He added sleazily, looking Hermione right in the eye, knowing she would know exactly what was about to happen to their hair.

Hermione's eyes widened and she stood immediately. "SHIT!" she screeched, and the others seemed shocked at her sudden vulgarity, though they were soon distracted by how rapidly their hair was growing… upwards.

Snape smiled evilly, watching as the Manegro caused their hair to grow rapidly, and the Hair-raising potion caused it to grow in an upward fashion.

Shrieking in horror, the teens all stood frozen, helpless as their hair continued to grow and grow until it was bunching up at the ceiling, then doubling up and growing back downward, then bouncing off the floor and growing upward again. Snape, smirking, disappeared inside his office, delightedly listening as they continued to scream in horror.

It was a while before their hair finally stopped growing, and by then the entire potions room was filled to the brim with untamable red, black, silver and brown hair while the four all lay atop it, eyes wide as they tried to figure out a solution.

"It would be humiliating beyond anything if we can't get rid of this before tomorrow's potions classes." Ron reminded them weakly, whimpering and patting at the long red hair spilling over his shoulders, not to even mention the rest of it that filled the whole bloody room.

Hermione didn't reply, already working on a cutting spell to snip her precious Draco's hair back to perfection before she even bothered with her own or the other two's.

Draco looked endlessly pleased when his hair appeared to be back to normal. A moment later, however, he shrieked in alarm when his hair started growing again, and the room was soon filled with yet more silvery hair, further trapping them.

"Bloody hell!" Ron cried, trying to swim around in the sea of soft hair.

"Now what?" Harry cried.

"He put a Regro spell on us!" Hermione wailed.

Draco began throwing a tantrum, knowing Severus could still hear them. "FUCK IT FUCK IT ALL SEVERUS GET OUT HERE AND FIX THIS I'LL TELL MY FATHER YOU'LL REGRET THIS FIX MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR YOU BASTARD!"

The other three at first were startled by his tactics, but soon joined him, screaming themselves hoarse before they determined that Snape had put a silencing barrier up, and had gone to bed.

"The bastard." Draco croaked, his pale face red from all the screaming and thrashing.

They had no choice but to remain there until morning, praying that Snape would be merciful and get rid of the extra hair before classes began.

The next morning, Snape did indeed wake up early, eager to continue torturing them. "Why good morning." He said rather nastily, stepping over the mounds of their hair and sitting behind his desk with an evil glint in his eyes. "It is such a rare occurrence for you four to be on time, let alone early. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You right bastard, you-" Ron groaned, sitting up and cracking his neck at the weight of all his hair. "Cut it!"

"Please, professor Snape! This is really quite awful." Hermione pleaded, and the four began begging and offering tidings of changed hearts and remorse.

Snape simply sat there, a horrible smirk on his face, and took it all in. "Very well," he began. "I'll give you two options. Either walk around for the rest of the day with your hair dragging behind you… or go the rest of the week completely bald." His smirk widened.

The four looked devastated at the only two choices they were faced with, both of which would be horribly embarrassing.

Snape's eyes traveled languidly to the clock. "My my, look at the time. Classes will be beginning shortly. Tick tock." He drawled, ever so pleased with himself.

"How long will it be?" Draco moaned. "Certainly not this long?" he indicated the room full of hair.

"Not quite. It would drag behind you to the point where your new nicknames would be Rapunzel, but I would be merciful and trim it up a bit from where it is now."

The four teens groaned again.

"Damn it. No. I can't handle that. Just cut it all off." Ron moaned, and with a flick of Snape's wand and not a moment for Ron to reconsider, all the red hair in the room was gone, including the hair that was meant to be atop Ron's now shiny, pale, bald head.

Ron whimpered and pulled the hood of his robes over his head, quickly leaving the room to find a place to hide.

Cringing, Harry told Severus to just get rid of it all for him, too, and an instant later, he was whimpering and covering his baldness in the same way Ron had.

Hermione shivered at that. "I don't want to be bald." She whined, and noted that with a swish of his wand, most of her bushy hair was gone, leaving her with hair that touched the ground and drug behind her like a veil. It was still ridiculously long and made her neck ache, but in her opinion, better than being bald.

Draco was about to burst a blood vessel trying to decide if he'd rather deal with that kind of hair all day or be bald for a whole bloody week.

"Tick tock, mister Malfoy."

**AN: So what do you think Draco will choose? Hair that drags behind him when he walks or baldness? :D Please review!**

**Sorry I haven't updated in like… half a year. Been really out of it. I lost inspiration, motivation and just the will to even write. Writing is my passion, so it was a really painful couple months where I just couldn't write anything. I really hope you enjoy this… it's the first thing I've written for six months now.**


	4. Chapter 4

The next day in the empty classroom, the four of them met up to see each other for the first time since their hair had been tampered with. Hermione had gotten Parvati and Padma to braid her hair so that it no longer dragged on the ground behind her. She looked rather stunning like this… Ron stared. So did Draco. As it were, Draco had the pleasure of having Hermione as his girlfriend. He cast Ron a warning glare, stole a quick kiss from her and held her hand firmly.

As it so happened, only Ron and Harry had decided that baldness was better, while Draco had fashioned his now long, silvery hair in such a way that it appeared to be the lining of his expensive wizarding robes. It was almost impossible to tell that his hair was as long as his robes. He was confident that he would be able to get through the day like this, despite how heavy his neck felt. And he could already feel a pulsing headache in his temples.

"Bloody hell. You two only have to endure a day of this, Harry and I have to go all bloody week without hair." Ron whimpered, yanking his hood down to further hide his shiny bald head.

Hermione groaned, her head tilted backwards because of the weight of her hair. "This is bloody awful." She whined, rubbing her neck tiredly.

Draco murmured his sympathy to her, rubbing her shoulders. The four of them all sat in the classroom for a while, dreading having to go out in public like this. After they had skived as long as they possibly could, they all buckled down on their determination, and headed off for breakfast.

Breakfast was awful. People kept asking why Ron and Harry had their hoods pulled down over their faces, and kept pointing out that Hermione's head kept tipping backwards. Draco remained dignified, but the strain was clear on his face. His hair was rather heavy, though he had very fair hair, he couldn't imagine how much trouble Hermione was having with that thick head of hair. The only thing that got her and Draco through the day was thinking of how they'd have their hair back to normal at the end of it, whereas Ron and Harry were starting to realize that they had to go through an _entire week _without a spot of hair on their heads.

The whole day, Hermione and Draco had people trod on their hair while walking behind them, and Ron and Harry continuously bumped into people and walls, because they refused to raise their hoods enough to even see where they were going.

Potions class was torturous. Snape, to his own twisted pleasure, had them all make hair-growing potions, which he forced Draco and Hermione to taste-test. Their hair grew twice the length it was already, and he left them that way for the whole of the class, mercifully fixing their hair back to the proper lengths at the end of it.

They walked out, their chins to their chests as they tried to work out the kinks in their necks, and Ron and Harry hurried after them, groaning and yanking their hoods further over their faces.

"That was awful," Hermione whimpered, plopping down on Harry's bed and hiding her face.

Draco dropped down beside her, nodding fervently in agreement, and wincing when it hurt. Their necks were going to be sore for ages.

"Be glad at least you can say _was!" _Ron cried, his voice muffled by his hood as he felt around for the bed. "It's still _is _for us!"

"You should have chosen to have him grow it out." Draco told them, running his hands sensually through his hair, which he now vowed to NEVER grow out passed this length.

"I don't think I could have handled that any better," said Harry, taking a quick peek from under his hood so he could find the bed.

"Guys, he's not relenting any! We haven't gotten a good prank in yet! What are we going to do?" Hermione wailed, fitfully tying her hair back into a pigtail, vowing to never wear it down again. It felt suffocating against her neck and shoulders.

"I don't know… I can't think of any good pranks, I haven't been able to for a while. My head's all foggy," Harry muttered unhappily, draping himself across Ron who groaned under his weight.

"You two could snog again, that really gave him pause last year," Draco suggested with a snicker.

Ron and Harry raised their hoods to throw him identical disgusted expressions, which made him only laugh harder.

"By that logic, you should pretend to be loaded again!" Ron cried at him, yanking his hood back over his face.

Draco choked on his laugh and shuddered at the thought. "No thank you, I'm quite happy the way I am." He hugged his thin torso, remembering the awful feeling of being fat. Pretending to be pregnant the year prior had been a decent prank, but it had almost ended badly for him.

"I'm going to bed, wake me up next week," Ron told them grumpily, crawling into his bed, still wearing his robes.

"Same here," Harry shooed Draco and Hermione off his bed, and they headed down to the common room to put their heads together, trying to think of a few good comebacks.

**AN: So, do you think they can get Snape back for these pranks he's been doling out steadily? Do you have any ideas for retaliation? Any ideas for more pranks from Snape? Please let me know!**

**AS ALWAYS, VISIT THE MIGHTY SLYTHERINS WIKI TO READ MORE ON THE CHARACTERS/STORY. (Link on my profile) **


	5. Chapter 5

The next week was miserable for Ron and Harry, who had invested in hats so that they didn't keep bumping into things, at Hermione's insistence after nearly falling down the moving staircases for the hundredth time. Snape remained suspiciously inactive all week, and so Hermione and Draco got a short respite to try and come up with ideas for retaliation.

Ron and Harry begged them not to use their idea until they'd gotten their hair back, so as to ensure that they _would _get it back. At the end of the week, Snape regrew their hair, which they vowed to never again cut.

"I've got the perfect comeback," Hermione told them the night after they'd gotten their hair back.

Ron and Harry were too busy running their hands gleefully through their thick heads of hair to pay her any mind.

"You two, I said I've got the perfect revenge!" she slapped them upside their heads.

"Let's hear it then!" Ron cried, rubbing where she'd slapped him.

She grinned and leaned in to whisper her plan, which got the four of them giggling and conspiring through the night.

The next morning, Snape mysteriously called in sick, and potions class was canceled. As was the next day. And the next. Finally, Snape summoned the four of them to his office, where they found him shrouded in darkness, a thick black hood covering his face from view.

"You bloody children. I've tried every spell, every potion I can think of. What is the antidote?" He snarled from his shadow, which was brewing with violent thoughts of retaliation.

The four simply smirked and stared at him.

"I'm afraid there is none, Professor. You'll either have to wait for it to grow out, or cut it all off." Hermione told him smugly.

Snape slammed his palms against his desk, his face and head shooting out of the darkness to reveal bulging, furious black eyes, and a head full of awful, bright pink hair.

The four couldn't help but giggle at the sight.

"Fix this, you awful child!" He snarled, pointing accusingly at Hermione, who simply grinned at him with sparkling eyes.

"I told you," she laughed. "I can't. No one but a barber can. Get it cut, or wait for it to grow out of your hair." she threw back her head and laughed with glee, the others joining her.

Snarling at them, he pointed furiously at his door and barked at them to leave, assigning them detention for the rest of the school year.

The four went about the rest of the day with springs in their steps and not so much as a glimpse of Professor Snape, but when they returned to their dorms, the returned to find all of their things magically glued to the ceiling. Including their beds. They were forced to sleep in the common room, huddled up on the couch. Draco had joined them in the Gryffindor common room, considering that the Slytherin one got cold at night, and he didn't want to be alone.

They were unable to get their beds and trunks down from the ceiling with anything they tried, and even their toothbrushes were on the ceilings in the dormitory bathrooms.

Eventually McGonagall helped them get their things down, but it was two weeks later, and a substitute teacher had been called upon to take Snape's place for the time being while he took "sick" leave.

The four took pride in having put him out of commission for the time being, but also feared what he would do when he came back. And they knew he would come back. It was only a matter of time.

**AN: I haven't updated this in six months. Inspiration struck for this chapter. I hope you like it. I'm out of practice, but I'd really love to get back to updating regularly. Please, feedback would be so appreciated, and help keep me motivated. Thank you to all who have been patient with me, and please accept my apology for the shortness of this chapter and how long it took to write it, and my promise to try harder on the next.**

**As usual, to read more about the characters, visit the Mighty Slytherins Wiki. (Link on profile)**


End file.
